Matters of the Heart.

A little over four years ago, I stated spending a lot of time with this one guy.

His name is Jonah.

Over a fall semester, we built a strong foundation of friendship.

We did so many things together!

He taught me how to live  adventurously and passionately.

Before long, we became super fond of each other.

And I fell in love with my best friend.

When we were together, things just made sense. I finally felt complete, and I know that sounds ridiculously cheesy but truly, for the first time in my life- I honestly felt that I was loved for who I presently was and that being myself was finally enough.

I was crazy about Him. We would write songs together, We'd write songs about each other. Life was such a happier place, and being with Jonah was like capturing sunshine; like something that seemed impossible, but somehow I was a lucky recipient.

He was exactly what I never knew I so badly needed. 

Anyway- It feels like a lifetime ago all of this happened. We spent a beautiful Year and a half together as best friends and lovers. Building each other up, encouraging each other to pursue goals, develop talents and endure challenges. We were so young and in love. 

This picture was taken on the day I opened my mission call, to receive my missionary assignment. God plays a vital part in both of our lives, and in our relationship. We were so happy. We learned that I would leave at the end of the year. 

He came to see me off at the airport on December 26 2011. There were mixed emotions everywhere. Of course we were thrilled and super happy. I was so excited to embark on what I knew would be an adventure that would change my entire life. I knew that Joe would soon receive that same opportunity and privilege that we have both yearned and planned for for years. 

William Shakespeare said it best. Though I have not seen him since that dark December morning, I think of him often. He is still my best friend. And my life has forever been changed because of him. In March 2013, Jonah received his beautiful long awaited call to serve, he would labor in the Argentina Cordoba mission :)

He is Loving the Country, AND the PEOPLE :)

He is growing so much. It is so funny the way that God works, but I have to remain faithful in believing that He has a specific plan for me, and that as I am faithful the best will work out. 

Elder Stanford is working diligently in Argentina and I cannot wait to see him again, to feel of the love he possesses for his people and the increase of the spirit he will carry as a more mature servant of God. 

Elder Stanford will return from serving his two year mission in four short months, he'll arrive in the bay area on March 10, 2015 :) Most days, it feels so distant. Sometimes he feels like a dream. But I look forward to seeing him again, learning from him and with him, and enjoying my best friend.

"The most beautiful discovery true friends can make; is that they can grow separately without growing apart."

<3

A new Season :)

After being home for about 6 weeks, I learned I was not content but truly felt that I could be doing something MORE. With literally 50 dollars in my bank account, my best friend Becky and Faith- we drove out to Utah in hopes to begin a  new chapter :)

We were homeless for about 3 weeks, and went between friends houses, we used that time to go to interviews and to catch up. We googled cheap apartments in Provo and found what would soon be our home. We became roomies at Bountiful Court Apartments in August 2013

I got m Dream Job at the Missionary Training Center as a Teacher!

Miracles would follow! It was perfect, I got to be with missionaries all day!

I met a friend at the MTC (far right) named Caleb, and he started dating Becky :)

We lived up expeditiously! I was able to perform an original song at a cafe with friends present! 

Mika became like family. We were the only Samoans in the entire apartment complex and told everyone we were cousins :D

Bronson, far left became a good friend. He asked me on my first date since being home from the mission. He served in Australia so we cooked food from our missions, It was beautiful. (Sister Routson My favorite pal in the mtc) joined us with Becky and Spencer :)

Provo provided us with Beautiful Fall Nights and this magestic temple we visited daily :)

Returning to The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave

I cried like a baby. A piece of my heart stayed behind that day.


That 14 hour flight seemed like an eternity to ponder. I reflected on the people that came to mean so much to me. I pondered on the lessons God had taught me and wrote down the goals I had made. Which goals God helped me meet and which ones I still needed work on. When we were reaching our destination I knew I had to look happy for my family, and I was happy to see them. There was just so much going on internally. Finally, our plane landed and this is what I saw :)

My nephews who had grown so much holding signs in the airport awaiting my arrival :)

My siblings and best friend :)

My Aunt Mary, Mama Rohner, My Sus (Jonah's Mom) and My sister in Law with my new niece!

I saw my mother. After 18 months which seemed like 18 years for her, she had grown in grace and beauty. I missed her and couldn't wait to embrace her :) Among the many lessons I would learn on the mission, learning to appreciate my mother was definitely included.

My older brother Crichton's beautiful family had grown :)

My Papa. This was the first face I looked for in the crowd. I could not wait to hug him, embrace him and look into his eyes. He looked so happy that day as we spoke together for the first time in Samoan. 

My sister, Skylar. How I love her. It was such a sweet reunion to see all of these familiar faces that seemed so distant for so long. 

It finally came back to me. :)

Naturally a celebration followed that weekend and lots of food was made so we could all enjoy each others company. Family came from all over the country. And for the first time in 18 months, I danced with my sisters. <3

It was good to be home.

Leaving the people and the land I came to love so deeply

I can remember boarding that New Zealand Airlines plane in Auckland and looking out into the city for the last time. I can remember thinking to myself.. "I may never return." I was an extremely sad day for me. Many of the people who took care of me, church members and non members alike met me at the airport the day of departure baring gifts for me and my family. I said good bye to them with hugs, kisses, and handshakes, my heart sunk. I felt more like I was leaving home. As a sign of respect, as I waved goodbye and made my way toward security- families sat on the ground with their feet crossed, swaying back and forth with their right hands in the air singing an old Samoan departure song,

Tofa my feleni, o le a ou lea, Te folau le va-a o, le Alii pule meleke, Nei galo mai Apia, si ota ele ele, Ae magatua maipea, le au pa sese. Refrain: Oh, I never will forget you, Samoa ele e le galotu Oh, I never will forget you, Samoa le galo atu.2. Fa a foga foga, in ai samea u-ma, Sai fai atu o lau faa tusa, pei o le sulu saga, I toto nu o maga, faa pea lau pele, Mai tau pou uma a, mai tau pou uma.

My final 6 weeks.. Double shifted once more and Training.fui

Introducing Miss Samoa herself, the beautiful Sister Fuiono

Probably the most difficult 6 weeks of my mission, starting over in an area that I knew nothing about when ALL I thought I wanted was to stay in Manurewa with Sister Mua'ava. But yet again, Heavenly Father knew better. We knocked doors in the pouring rain and hail. We struggled with talking to people on the streets because she was so new and she was learning English. We struggled with being on the same page. When I desired so badly to finish off with a HUGE BANG... I knew I couldn't leave my companion behind. I knew there was wisdom within this lesson. And I knew I had to learn it.

In the end we loved each other, and I realized that my mission wasn't a ticker ticking down to my last seconds of life, but that it was an experience God blessed me to have. 

My family came to pick me up at the end of my mission, and it was a blessed day. 

Because God IS our loving Heavenly Father, He has made a plan that will guide us back to Him. He has blessed us with Families, Prophets,Scriptures, and so much more. Throughout time God has always used His prophets to communicate to His people. The greatest prophet that ever lived was our Savior Jesus Christ. This plan for us to return to God, works exactly because of that. Because of Him. Because He saves Us. I know this because I have seen lives change after years of betrayal and darkness. I have seen the darkest paths that have been lit up as people have turned their lives to God, taken up their crosses and follow Him. I know this because the truth of this message burns in my bosom, and I cannot deny it. H e has changed so many lives, and He has changed mine. 

I was often asked, "Why did you decide to serve a mission for your church?" I would answer, "Because I love my Heavenly Father, and I just want to pay Him back for all the goodness He's given me." I was very young minded. Every struggle, every laugh, cry, mishap, challenge, miracle- has helped me realize that after a short 18 month mission, I am even deeper indebted to Him who is the beneficiary of life itself. I pray my life may be a reflection of His goodness and teachings all the days of my life. I am grateful, ever grateful that God uses imperfect people like myself for this perfect work.

Manurewa. Training and Double Shifted Again :D

My sweet Sister Mua'ava from Pavaia'i Amerika Samoa :)

I was hen called to moved. Double shifted yet again into my fourth area and training. We were assigned to labor in the Redoubt Stake in Manurewa in the Alema Ward.

We worked so hard and saw many blessings together. Sister Mua'ava is one of those genuine sisters you honestly don't find everyday. We both had so much to learn and thankfully through many prayers and fasts we were able to learn much. One of the lessons we gained was the importance of study.

What Sister Mua'ava taught me in the end was that I didn't have to be a master in the Samoan language to be Samoan. I just had to love as Samoans are taught to love. Unconditionally.

I know that God places angels in our paths so that we could be guided back to Him.

We shared my last Easter in the field together and it was spent reflecting on the life and goodness of our Savior, Jesus Christ and inviting others to know of this good news!

Waterview

After 12 weeks with Filipi, I was double shifted again into a new area and served as senior companion again. My companion was Sister Sagapolutele. I was back in the Samoan Program, and this time we were in the city. Immediate success seemed to be the furthest thing from our area books. We had a rough start, but ended up becoming good friends. 12 weeks together with ups and downs. But I was able to learn a lot from Sister S. and the love she had for the people we served. :)

The closest I ever was with a district was this one. Wonderful missionaries here :) Sister Joslyn Beaver became my closest and dearest friend in the missionaries continues to be today. I love my sister in Christ :) We have endured so much together and I am forever grateful for the light she shares with others :)

Mangere Bridge July-Oct 12 week program

One day my dear President Lekias extended a call to me to train in the English program. I had only been in NZ for 4 weeks. I had mixed feelings and didn't know how to feel. I knew I was still a young missionary and I felt inadequate in so many ways. I was afraid of letting my future companion down, I was afraid of letting my president's expectations of me down, I was afraid that I could never be as good a trainer as my trainer was. And above all I was afraid of letting Heavenly Father down. I fasted like a mug.  :) I prayed like crazy. The answer that entered my heart was simple..... "Sister Porter- it is not about you." See, I was so busy stressing about how "I" would do, or if "I" were good enough- But the lesson of humility has made an eternal imprint on my heart and in my life. :) Elder Halleck of the 70 said:

"Humility does not come by thinking less of yourself; but by thinking less about yourself." ...Those 12 short weeks I spent training Sister Phillips were some of the most Beautiful, Difficult, Faith Building, Miracle Filled weeks of my life! And I will never forget them! Til this day, she is one of my closest friends :) It is a part of our mortal experience that we have weaknesses; but everyone also has strengths! I would soon learn much about that.

We have a theory that we were best friends in heaven before we came to earth. 

But that the world wouldn't know what to do with us if we were both born on the same continent. So of course God would allow us to find each other again, and have us be companions all the way in New Zealand :)

This is our Onesi Family. We love them!

Many are called. Few are chosen. Miracles in Mangere Bridge.

We covered two wards. The Waterlea Park English ward and the Niuean McKenzie Ward. Loved them :) Matching Puletasi Day

THIS WAS OUR ZONE:) HURRAH FOR ISRAEL!

We planned.

We knocked.

We ate.

a lot.

We studied.

We loved them.

Because HE Loves them.

Miracles everyday!

The skies whispered, "Be still. And know that I am God."